I’ve always said it’s good to re-evaluate yourself, your life, and your surroundings every now and then. We sometimes naturally evaluate other’s life without even realizing we are doing it. Taking a step back and thinking “wait, I need re-evaluate how I’m moving.” “Am I really living the best life I can live right now?” “Am I being the best ME I can be?” “Am I being true to myself?” A lot of times those answers can be no, maybe for a few months those answers could be yes, but then we drift and they eventually turn into no, sometimes.
Re-evaluating is healthy and I believe everyone should do it. Its a form of self care that’s imperative for success and happiness in ones life. Have you ever heard couples saying that they do “check ins” with their partner? You know, like, “are you still happy in this relationship?” “Is everything ok?” Re-evaluating YOU, is this exact same thing. Except you’re asking YOURSELF these same questions. This is allowing yourself to be vulnerable with yourself. Really sit down, write, meditate, talk to yourself, or whatever way you choose and be honest with YOU.
I also think it’s important to make sure the people you associate, talk, and hang with are in your best interest as well. Now when doing this type of re-evaluating make sure you’re not necessarily picking apart their life, make sure you are basing your evaluation on solely you and that person’s relationship and interactions. How that person makes you feel and asking yourself has this person shown you that they are a true friend and sincerely wish you well? Does this person motivate me or add happiness to my life? (Side note: Notice I said “add happiness” and not “make me happy”. True happiness comes from within, everything else is a bonus.) Those are questions to ask for lovers and friends. Now, think about it, it’s not fair to ask these questions about others and not ask them about yourself. Be real with yourself and ask “have I been a good friend?” “Do I sincerely wish my friends and lover well?” “Do I put out that positive energy I ask for as well?”
Self care is important and I think people sometimes become so caught up and busy in the world that they forget to “check in” with themselves. Your wellbeing is the most important, make sure YOU are ok FIRST. At the end of the day YOU will always have your OWN back. Don’t count on others to do these “check ins” for you. Of course it’s nice to have your people check on you but that’s not the case all of the time. You have to be real with yourself. Everyone knows in today’s world you can’t count on too many people to be real with you. So, you have to make sure you can offer yourself that realization. It’s ok to take breaks from people, relationships/friendships need that sometimes. It’s ok to be alone for awhile, away from the world and it’s stressors. It’s ok to “not be ok.” Just make sure you do the things necessary to get to being “ok.” After that, work on being “great” so that you can be the best person you can be. Live the best life you can live.
“there is you and you. this is a relationship. this is the most important relationship.”
“if someone does not want me it is not the end of the world. but if I do not want me. the world is nothing but endings.”
Two of my favorite short poems from my favorite writer Nayyirah Waheed. I take these with me in my mind everywhere. I hope you have pieces of beauty, motivation, and reminders you take every where with you as well.
Being true to self.