Forgiveness is something I commonly see isn’t easy for most people. I’ve seen people hold some of the most undeniable grudges, even if they attempt to deny that they are. It is my honest belief that sometimes holding grudges and not giving forgiveness can change the way a person sees future situations and makes them more unable to trust. Being forgiving doesn’t mean you are passive or able to be ran all over, in fact I think it makes you a stronger person for being able to move past a situation or person without the hold of it all. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes which is, “When you hold grudges, your hands aren’t free to catch blessings.” When I first saw that quote it make me grateful for how many situations I forgave and move forward from. Sometimes you have to forgive apologies you never forgot or forgive broken bridges that you may never get back.
I have to admit, forgiveness wasn’t always an easy thing for me. I’ve had some of the worst things done to or involving me that most would be amazed I forgave. I also had to learn to forgive myself for letting myself be in unfavorable situations and for situations I put others in. But as I grew older, I started to realize the positives in forgiving. Learning to forgive can only help me, not hurt me. Having this ability frees you up to move on. On to better situations, better relationships….a better overall being and life. Forgiving makes you stronger.
Greater Well Being (health)
Being unforgiving can sometimes cause strain on a person. This can lead to anxiety or depression or long term stress. It is important to consider this when processing a situation. If you do not relieve this from yourself you may cause long term health issues from those strenuous things.You will not hoard any anger towards anyone, or even yourself. Think about the bigger picture that is yourself. Your health should be one of your top priorities. Don’t let stressful situations eat away at your overall well being. As emotional beings, we need to learn to control our emotions and think about the repercussions of negative feelings. Your health is your wealth, and you can’t let anything or anyone take that away.
The biggest part of forgiving for me is being able to move forward. Move forward from relationships (romantic or not), people, decisions, situations, etc. It is not possible to keep on an uphill stride with things weighing you down. I love that I can more easily pick back up and keep going without the constant worry about something that happened that may have even been out of my control. Truth is, there is ALWAYS going to be something. No matter what we do, things happen. It is important to take it for what it is and just keep moving forward. If I let things eat at me I wouldn’t be able to do a lot of the things I do and have done.
Learning lessons is an essential part of life. What are we doing if we aren’t learning lessons? We would end up living our lives on a loop of the same old mistakes. I am grateful for the situations that caused me to learn lessons I didn’t think I needed. That is one of the reasons forgiving has become easier for me as I mature. It is important to turn a negative to a positive. Maybe a person has now exposed something about themselves that you know you want to avoid and maybe would not have seen if they hadn’t shown their true colors. Maybe it brought you out a situation that you did not realize was not good for you but can now see clearly that is wasn’t. Lessons on lessons on LESSONS! We don’t grown if we don’t learn. So there is obviously growth in forgiveness.
I believe that forgiving leads to healthier relationships in all forms because you are able to see the bigger picture of the individual you went through a situation with. If it is a situation with a significant other and you give full forgiveness for something they have done then you can really move forward with each other. If not, then it will cause strain and issues in the future with this person. The same can be said for family and friends. Sometimes we have to realize that maybe what happened was because some people are just in different stages than you are. Not everything a person does is because of you. Sometimes we have to look at the bigger picture of where they are mentally and emotionally and use that. I am not saying to just forgive and forget. Forgive and re-calibrate how you approach any situation or how you interact with that person.
Better Spiritual Health
One of my favorite things that I have been more in tune with as I’ve gotten older is my spirituality. I do not think I would be able to grow more and more in tune with myself or others if I was holding on to past situations. I can reflect on them and turn them into positives. I can take situations that happen now and not let them interrupt my spirit. When I was younger a lot of things would break me down and make me think it was possibly something wrong with me because of things that happened. Now, I can use these tools I have learned to keep my serene and sanity in my spirit. And I believe that having a better spirit brings more positive to others as well.
Now with all that being said, don’t be foolish. Just because I am saying to be a more forgiving person does not mean that I am saying to forgive and continue to let people use and abuse. Be forgiving for yourself, not for anyone else. Don’t do it and not learn from the situation. Also, do not let it cloud your judgment and cause paranoia for future situations and encounters with others that you feel may exhibit similar behavior. Forgive, but don’t forget is the common saying. Do not forget what your learned and use it to better yourself and how you react to things. Use it to become a better person and not make the same mistakes or treat someone else the same way you were treated. Please, if you take nothing else from this do not let it make you a cold person.
Love and light,